The Power of the Verbal and Written Words

    Sometimes it's amazing how powerful words can be to someone. Like I've mentioned through Joan Didion's "On Writing a Notebook", words can mean different things to different people. We have the universal definition and the personal definition. So when someone says something to someone else, they may take a different meaning from the phrase or word than originally intended. I'm talking about this because my boyfriend and I had a conversation about accepting someone's imperfections, mostly in the context of a relationship.
    When meeting people for the first time, we always have this criteria; people have to be a certain way, or at least we expect them to. This also brings up the issues of racism and categorizing individuals, but that is for another day since I have a lot to say on the subject. Anyway we are always tempted to judge people for how they look, what they believe, and how they act. It is really easy to notice someone's imperfections because they are so blatantly out there in front of everyone. These imperfections parade gleefully on our entire body.
    I propose that it is a lot harder to accept someone for everything they stand for, especially those imperfections. Accepting someone's imperfections is hard because we are not used to it. We are constantly bombarded by the media that it is easier to say "hateful" things to others than it is to say "hey, I accept you and I want you to do whatever makes you happy". I've watched shows where the main character is learning that life lesson and the whole episode is about the character getting up the courage to say something. We are also told that it is also easy to just point, tell and demand someone to change just to fit an ideal. It does not work that way. We all have different ideas about how our lives should be or turn out to be. This "ability" to accept has to do with the mentality of people.

    In the context of a relationship, being accepting is important. Personally, it is one of the main things I look for in a man; someone who has decided that he will accept me no matter what I choose to do or say. As I've mentioned before, having a relationship is when you have found someone that you can share the journey of life with. Someone's mentality in a relationship ideally should be  "idgaf" about their significant other's imperfections. What should matter is that someone has been chosen by their significant other to join in the pursuit of a fulfilling life. My verbal visual is, "You're living your life and it is great that you chose me to join you in the pursuit of achieving something such as self-fulfillment".

    As the human race, full of amazing individuals, we should be celebrating individuality. We shouldn't bash those with what we consider "imperfections". In relationships, in my experience, there comes a time when the other cannot handle things in which they start calling the other out on it. What does this do and how come it does not come any sooner? I believe that it happens when someone stops wanting to put in effort into the relationship and the other wants him or her to change his or her attitude. I believe it also happens because people suddenly have the need to change someone.

    Imperfection is what creates character. Perfection is unachievable. Don't set yourself up for failure with expectations.

Cheers,

Claire